The Confession

APPLE BOOKS REVIEW

Jessie Burton’s Inside Story: “How a story comes together is a bit of a mystery to me. It sort of unfolds over months and months, where I make mistakes, perform U turns and go through a lot of trial and error. It’s a funny one, because sometimes people will ask me, ‘How did you come to it? How did you write it?’ And I genuinely cannot remember. I physically can’t remember writing the book. I mean, I definitely did it, but it’s a weird thing! You sit at a desk and it physically becomes an absence. You’re not in the world, you’re in a fictional place for months on end.

“And I think I do live in a sort of imaginary space quite a lot of the time. Even in reality I have to kind of make sure I'm checking in, and that the things that I'm thinking are actually happening. It's my job, so I have to go, ‘Right, this is the space I have to occupy and today I have to immerse myself in it for five hours or three minutes.’ Then towards the end of the process—once the book has been written twice and three times—I can be quite obsessive about it. I’ll say, ‘Oh no, I can’t go out’ or ‘I can’t do this, I’m writing.’ But I’ve become much better with the balance. I can come out of that place and I’m pretty good at living my life now. I don't turn into a complete weirdo who doesn't wash. I try not to, anyway.

“There were lots of things that I wanted to explore with this book. There were questions I wanted to ask about being a woman in the 21st century, the choices that we have, the messages that we're given and the narratives that are still quite traditional that are imposed upon us. For example, the journey to motherhood and that still being such a dominant kind of destination. Within that message and within that journey there are so many attitudes, worries, fears and hopes and people feeling it doesn't necessarily fit them. I think the character of Rose really embodies that.

“So I was thinking about the life of my friends and my own life, but also society in general. Then there’s the idea of creativity and freedom and what it really means to own yourself or feel in control of yourself. So I wanted to create an almost fantasy realm in the story of Connie, who is very powerful, doesn't really answer to anyone, and isn't very apologetic about the space she takes up. Those are exceptionally fun characters to write.

“On a completely different side of things, I love mystery. I like characters whose lives are not fully described or laid out, because I think real life’s a bit like that. So that was something I wanted to include: that other life, or the life not discussed, or the life not lived.

“I think Connie is a kind of idealised future self of me. I think a lot of women—and men—would love to have that sense of self possession and economy of self. Connie, of course, has money and money has set her free. We don't like talking about money, but I think even Virginia Woolf was talking about the importance of money, particularly in a woman's life. Traditionally in the early and even middle of the 20th century women didn't often have bank account—they weren't allowed them. That kind of sh*t is real and it's really important to me to sort of be able to create these people who are very self-assured.

“Rose has this slight arrested development. There is this external narrative that says by 30 you've got to have the marriage or the babies. It's such bullsh*t, it really, really is. I think it really damages people. There’s been a lot said about this book about being a mother or not being a mother. But really, it’s about being a daughter and that it means to be a child. So it’s almost a love letter to my mum, this book. I think so often parents are slightly befuddled with their children, they don't know who they are, these children that they've made.

“When you reach your early 20s as a woman, no one’s really supporting you because you are not a girl anymore—but you’re not given the tools to necessarily succeed. The character of Elise represents this for me. Because she’s very attractive, she can also become window dressing. Even Connie treats her a bit like that. It’s not particularly noble of Connie. I think Elise’s tragedy is that the doesn’t know who she is. In a place like Los Angeles, where everyone’s able to invent their own self, she’s doesn’t even know how to start.

“Having Los Angeles so central to the story is quite weird because I’ve only been twice. The sense of it being quite loopy clearly struck with me.I’ve spent a lot of time in New York and I think as a native Londoner I find New York immediately relatable and understandable. But I feel LA is quite a strange place. I feel bad because I know I would hate it if someone just dismissed my own city like that. So I always say, ‘This is an LA as viewed through the eyes of a young English girl who doesn’t know her arse from her elbow.’

“Writing the character of Barbara was just a joy. She's a combination of Meryl and Bette Davis, plus a bit of Rita Hayworth and Katherine Hepburn. It was so much fun to write someone who was performing herself—these quippy one liners that could be from a screwball comedy. She herself is completely self-created. You then really see her—and that's another lesson Elise learns—turning up battered in the face by her ex-husband, completely at his mercy physically and proving Hollywood dream is a dream. But nevertheless I did really enjoy writing that kind of hyper-feminine, femme fatale sort of character, it was good fun to write. Because those people are real, I have met a few like that, they do exist.”