Captain Niblick

The ancient oaks of one of England's major forests had just about seen it all - wars, droughts, fires, floods, you name it, they've survived it. But how would they cope with a maverick golf club skipper, one Captain Mashie Niblick, intent on demolishing old dogmas and bringing in his New Model Army to put matters to rights?

As it happened, the New Model Army turned out to be an Old Model Army, the bow and arrow brigade of one Robin the Hoodie who was keen on extending his domain from Sherwood to the back of beyond. In an age of mobile telephony and electronic tablets, the Outlaw was proven to be out of his depth. Niblick was not.

As last man standing in the captaincy stakes Mashie Niblick strode purposefully up to the plate when duty called. Eventually he fell off it. Yet he could count himself one of the heroes of the age because, surely in the 123-year history of the golf club, there was no captain as lousy at golf as was Niblick.

Here is a true tale of a loser. It is a story like no other. Niblick survived and the forest survived by gobbling up the Captain's golf balls by the dozen.

This is golfing life in the English countryside and on the links of the Costa del Sol. It tells what it is like to be a leader of men and a bleeder of golfing hearts. Mashie Niblick is unique. We shall not see his like again in the captaincy stakes, so sit up and join him on his incredible journey.