One Last Strike Before Dark

We all are stories that we tell ourselves.
Almost none of the stories are true, that is true in the sense of being in congruence with reality. We live in our own little fictions.
On occasions, though, happenings so terrible beset us that we must abandon our fictions and discover who we really are.
Which is Jordan Aimes predicament.
He must make a decision—a life or death decision.
In order to make it, Jordan must cut through his fictions.
He has examined the places and events caught in his memory, felt the joy and the hurt again, summoned to mind the people who left their mark on him. He has tallied up the account of who he owed and for what, sometimes ached over what he should have done, but didn’t, sometimes shuddered at what he did, but should not have done. And smiled at the remembrance of things he should not have done, but did anyway.
He has questioned whether there is a god and what happens next whether there is or isn’t one. And wonders whether anyone is keeping score.
But what Jordan desperately needs to know before he can make that decision is who is he really—guardian of the universe or the uncertain little boy still afraid of the dark?
This is the story of what he finds out.
And how.