Red Flags
Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People
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- 10,99 €
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- 10,99 €
Descrizione dell’editore
We all need emotional blinders: the etiquette that keeps society smoothly moving depends on it. But when you absolutely must rely on another person, you have to be able to assess them objectively. In RED FLAGS, author Wendy L. Patrick shares simple strategies anyone can use to spot deceptive or downright dangerous people who use ingratiation and social convention to draw in and lull victims.
Readers will learn how even the most skeptical of us use rose-colored lenses on those around us, in three sections:-Blinded by Desire-from the alluring lenses of attraction and positive attention to the blindness of marital "bliss" and the distorted lens of delusion-Overlooking Red Flags in a Professional Setting-how reassuring proximity and the false security of credibility and similarity can lead to costly mistakes -Be Afraid of What You Can't See-the ultimate cost of wearing emotional blinders around the truly disturbed/criminal, from sexual predation to domestic abuse, stalking and cyberstalking. Readers will learn how to:-avoid selective attention-observe people over time (bad guys rely on first impressions)-ask questions: most people's favorite topic is themselves-cybersleuth to verify information and track down inconsistencies
You need this book if you:-want to know if a potential boyfriend is trustworthy-are interviewing or hiring new employees-are selecting anyone to take care of your children-are lending money or property-have partners in business
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Patrick, a deputy district attorney in San Diego, offers her expertise on the minds and methods of users and abusers, advising readers on how to avoid becoming a victim. She employs a simple mnemonic device for evaluating a person's motivating interests, FLAG (Focus, Lifestyle, Associations, Goals), culling examples from her own cases. These include a charming serial rapist, a thieving manipulator of an elderly veteran, and a teenage sex trafficker who recruited other girls for her pimp. Patrick issues her most urgent warning about the "Dark Triad," consisting of narcissists, Machiavellians, and psychopaths. She explains psychological traps to avoid, such as the "halo effect," in which positive qualities are attributed to physically attractive people, and the " white-coat phenomenon" of blind adherence to perceived authority. Advice particularly useful for women includes pointers on evaluating online dating profiles for negative characteristics, looking for traits of the "Dark Triad" in possible one-night-stands, and paying attention to the too-often ignored warning signs of incipient domestic violence. Patrick's profession has provided her access to a host of victims and offenders, while her shrewd analysis sheds light on the distinct patterns of abuse. Though much of this material is available elsewhere, her knowledge and the mnemonic shorthand provide a unique perspective.