Being There

Brought to you by Penguin.

A powerful look at the importance of a mother’s presence in the first years of life.

In this important and conversation-starting book, veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar offers a provocative and compelling premise: a mother's emotional and physical presence in her child's life -- especially during the first three years -- means that her child has a greater chance of growing up emotionally healthy, happy, secure, and resilient. When that essential presence goes missing, the child is at higher risk for social, emotional, and developmental issues, both immediate and long term.

In other words, when it comes to connecting with your baby or toddler, more is more.

Compassionate and balanced, and focusing on the emotional health and well-being of children as well as that of the mothers who care for them, this book shows mothers and fathers how to give their children the best chance for developing into healthy and loving adults. Based on more than two decades of clinical work, established psychoanalytic theory, and the most current and cutting-edge neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, Being There explains:

- How to establish emotional connection with a newborn or young child -- regardless of whether you're able to pause your career to stay home,
- How to select and train quality childcare if necessary -- and how to ease transitions and minimize stress for your baby or toddler,
- What's true and false about widely held beliefs like 'Babies are resilient' and how to combat feelings of post-partum depression or boredom,
- How women and their partners can take control of their choices around work to provide for their family's emotional needs in the first three years.

© Erica Komisar 2026 (P) Penguin Audio 2026