Authors' Rep

The story of Authors’ Rep is that the world’s most successful horror writer (who is possessed of two attributes: boyish good looks and lovable charm, making him a P.R. delight; and an I.Q. that any self-respecting snail could top) believes that his literary agent secures “his” novels for him by buying quality manuscripts from their authors, which are then published under his name. In fact, the agent’s reader, a Princeton-educated MFA, is also a professional killer, who, upon finding a worthy novel in the slush pile, is dispatched to kill the author, thus leaving the property free and clear. Our main protagonist, a bored and unhappy writer for a two-bit NY-based soap opera, gets his novel to the agent, who thinks it’s the best thing he has ever read. However, our Princeton grad murders not the author, but two other people: this leaves our agent with the dilemma of two “authors” of one great book.