Desire
An Inclusive Guide to Navigating Libido Differences in Relationships
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- ¥2,200
発行者による作品情報
A radically inclusive, sex-positive guide to managing the inevitable libido differences in our relationships, authored by two certified sex therapists who are passionate about good sex
2024 Distinguished Book Award Winner, selected by the American Psychological Association’s Division 44
Desire invites readers of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures to shed the shame and misinformation that surround the topic of sex and instead learn from 2 certified sex therapists about how libido really works. Desire differences are one of the most common relationship issues, yet, with fewer than 1,100 certified sex therapists in the country, it can be difficult to find help. This essential book breaks the mold of the sex self-help genre, which typically focuses only on cisgender women.
Through the authors’ expert guidance readers will learn about
embracing a more expansive definition of sex,identifying various factors that can impact libido,managing anxiety around sex (one of the biggest libido killers),the structural oppressions—from cisnormativity to heteronormativity to compulsory sexuality to minority stress—that affect our libido,and much, much more.
It rejects the narrow, heteronormative, “staircase” model of sex—a way of thinking where many relationships get stuck. It integrates evidence-based relationship therapy techniques for better communication around sex.
Included are dozens of techniques, exercises, checklists, and journal prompts for readers to use at their own pace to fit their needs, including mindfulness, body mapping, and sensate focus. Whatever your identity, sexual practices, or reason for picking up this book, Desire will help you reach your personal sexual health goals.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Psychologists Mersy and Vencill debut with a pragmatic guide aimed at helping couples navigate desire mismatches. Framing sexual desire as an individualized, one-size-does-not-fit-all equation, the authors outline the constellation of factors that can impact libido, from the interpersonal (relationship concerns, parenting stressors) to the sociocultural (homophobia, religious values). Paying particular attention to sexual shame and the ills of gendered sexual stereotypes, they encourage readers to break free of the heteronormative "Sexual Staircase" model, in which sexual activity inevitably culminates in penetrative intercourse, and embrace the inclusive "Wheel Model," which allows fluid movement between sexual activities, all of which are of equal value. To help readers achieve this, the authors provide such exercises as "intimacy dates," which involve blocking off time for sexual exploration with a partner, and suggest keeping a sexual health journal to reflect on personal preferences. Mersy and Vencill's advice is grounded in clinical experience, delivered in accessible prose, and backed by a sex-positive attitude that accounts for a host of sexual orientations, preferences, and other factors—they include sections on how desire is affected by disability and depression. Those seeking to strengthen their sexual connections will find this a comprehensive place to start.
