Embracing Shame
How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
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- ¥1,500
発行者による作品情報
Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.
Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”
With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:
• The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
• How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
• The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
• Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more
While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.
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Though often deemed "one of the most powerful, painful" emotions, shame "used in the right way" can "be valuable medicine," according to this illuminating outing from Lyon (The Bret Lyon Personal Power Program) and Rubin, married cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame Institute. Partly because society understands shame itself as shameful, the emotion frequently goes undiscussed and triggers feelings of isolation, amplifying the sufferer's impulse "to hide, disappear, or freeze in place," the authors note. They advise readers to work to recognize shame when it occurs and use "compassionate curiosity" to uncover its origins and contextualize its attendant beliefs (for example, the authors found through their work with those struggling with shame that even if one is firmly convinced "everyone in their family is against them," by exploring "their extended family system" they can "usually find at least one person who is on their side"). Once readers "gain space" from the shaming incident, they can work to dismantle their "inner critic" by abandoning "either-or thinking"—making way for a "healthy" shame that fosters humility, "rewarding relationships," and a sense of responsibility. For example, a client who felt shame for a frayed relationship with her drug-using daughter realized "that she did have some responsibility to bear" for the estrangement while also acknowledging she'd "raised her kids with ample childhood shame of her own." Firmly grounding their advice in therapeutic experience, the authors perceptively unpack shame's complexities and connections to trauma, the body, sex, and relationships. It's an admirably nuanced look at a complicated emotion.
