Fake Flowers

Most people have had a toxic relationship in their lifetime. No matter who the relationship is with -- whether it's a parent, child, friend, or significant other -- everyone has had one of those dangerous, toxic, engagements. One of my most toxic partners was a woman named Beatrice.

Everything started off rocky -- the kind of rocky that's like jumping off a cliff into the sea foam below, crashing on those boulders and drowning --, but my love for her kept growing. No matter how many times she would beg for nude photos when she was drunk, call me at one a.m. to tell me she wanted to 'eat me out' because I was 'so sexy', shamed me for looking the way that I do and shamed herself for not being stereotypically 'gorgeous', told me she was afraid to be around me because she feared raping me, and many other things that I dismissed because I wasn't ready to admit that I was in a toxic relationship.

Her toxicity leeched into me, and after three years, I was angry all the time and I had no idea why. My mind was crying out for me to stop being with her....

After two years apart, I never answer my phone if it's anyone from Massachusetts. I'm afraid of answering my phone. No matter how many times she and I broke up, she always seemed to worm her way back into my life.

These poems were written at a time of healing. Many of them are angry, and some even poisonous, but they were all at a time when I needed to tell myself that enough was enough. Come follow my journey to self-wellness. This is one of my most heartfelt collections yet.