It’s all an illusion … a karmic one

Telling that the life itself it’s an illusion, might sound so damn … weird … and most probably … even like a depressive thought.
But … you see … there are so, so many moments in life when the life itself just… sucks … and we ask ourselves … what the hell have i done that i
deserve that?!
And that was the moment when the karmic idea came into my mind … starting to believe that all the lessons of life, sometimes very difficult to
handle … could be defined as karmic.
All those abstract situations … which totally annoy us … and make our lives miserable… are repeating on and on and on.
Believing we are the victims of circumstances … everything it’s never the way we want to be … or even worst.
The funny thing that i tried all the time when i was in those weird abstract stories, having the impression that it was the end of the world … i was repeating to myself “It’s all an illusion … and it’s not what it looks like”.
My karmic stories … being in fact my stories … and feeling them in such a powerful way … were …
Well … don’t even know how to define them, but all i wanted was to get out of those situations and also get rid of the karmic people that i hated so much.
And i tried everything … and nothing worked expect smiling … or even laughing in front of those illusions.
Deciding to call them … simple … illusions … was probably the best idea i could come with.
But the karmic illusions … were powerful messages i had to understand … and i was pretending i could not see behind the abstract.
I actually love the abstract, but not when it was part of my life.
It was all related with the concept of understanding the meaning of life … and even if i spent lots of time meditating over the subject … when i was on the scene of the real life, i was acting like a football player that studied all the strategies had been ever written about this sport … but … never practiced and in fact never tried to practice it in a good way.
So … even if i knew theory … i acted like someone that never heard about spirituality … or about the forces behind reality.
In fact …. in the real life, in so, so many karmic moments … i acted like an … idiot.
I knew that all i had to do was just to smile in front of those illusory situations … cause there is no other way of fighting.
But guess what?!
Each time … i was failing.
The only progress i made over the years … was that after a while … meditating over what happened … i somehow understood what … illusory … meant.
…. that i had to react in a different way.
… that was not what it looked like and the lesson of life had to be seen, understood deeper and deeper.
But again … theory was so easy and i was failing tests all the time.
On and on and on …
I was such an idiot not applying all what i knew about life … on the scene of my own life.
… and i was paying the price … of living a … miserable life …
Everyday something happened and i was fucking my vibe … not realizing there were tests given to me by the Universe.
Life was beautiful … and i thought it’s so … ugly.
Hahaha … such a silly perspective.
Well … it was all a decision of … changing my perceptions … and realizing that anything it could happen it was all a decision of the Divine Intelligence … God … Allah … or however we could name that entity that is everything it exists …. and it was all for our good.
The fact that the karmic situations were repeated … was because i was not passing the tests … and i really had to pass those tests.
It was all about … my awakening … and i had to start the … process.