No Working Title - a Life in Progress

It is my oldest memory.

My first pornographic magazine was at around 5 or 6—Cavalier magazine, I believe. At 11, Deep Throat was the feature at my first introduction to what was called a Porn and Prawn Night for fathers and sons. At 13, it was Debbie Does Dallas. I grew up believing Penthouse forums were all true stories, and that was what sex and women were really like.

I left home for the first time at 8, just going to the neighbors’ place to hide in the bushes. Finally at 18, I went to South Africa, then to college. In between that was years of inappropriate touching, suggestions, and watching. These were weekly experiences. My early teen years are a muddle of my parents’ parties I had to go to, and the things I had to do or were done to me by family friends, strangers or my father’s girlfriends. Sex I had to have or watch.

At no point in my journey did I feel I could talk to anyone about what I had gone through and was still going through.  The stress of it has caused irreparable damage to the significant relationships in my life. Being a sexually abused man is difficult enough to talk about in our society. Being abused by your parents is just not the sort of thing you bring up at dinner, and it’s certainly not politically correct to examine the miscalculated (or ignored) statistics on women perpetrators.

Maybe the only life that is changed by these writings is mine.

Maybe this is the only copy of No Working Title that will ever be printed. That is ok—I’ll find someone to give it to. But if you have bought one, then you may have just helped save a young boy like I was, helped a man like I am, and helped the family that stand by as the real victims to the effects of one of the great tragedies of our modern era.

All profits from this book will go towards addressing the issue of sexual abuse among young men, particularly the taboo topic of the sexual abuse of those men by the women and the caregivers in their lives.

Peace and Grace, 

The Author