Numb

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface." - Linkin Park.

*A novella*

Playing local shows in seedy, downtown pubs when I was just Jamie with his guitar, and coming home to my girl who was waiting for me. A girl I couldn't imagine living without. That was my life. A life I loved. A life that may not have been perfect, or filled with money and fame - but it was perfect to me.

Playing packed out stadiums in beautiful cities, where Jay Ryker is who they scream for; and coming home to an empty hotel and a bottle of bourbon waiting for me. A bottle I wouldn't dare try and live without. This was my life. A life I loathed. A life that may seem perfect on the outside, filled with money and fame - but it wasn't perfect to me.

After losing my world that meant everything to me; I need to find my way back to the living.

I'm not sure I even want to. I don't think I would survive any more pain.

It may seem weak, but it's easier being numb.