Standing Lost

When your heart is ripped open, the last thing you want to do is read.

I have lost two children. After both miscarriages, friends and family handed me several books. I didn't read any of them. I didn't want someone's how-to-heal tips. One thing I learned about grief—it's oftentimes lonely. You rest in that place of unyielding pain, feeling lost. The world continues to go on around you but you're cemented in place.

Every year, I encounter more and more friends that have grieved the loss of a child. It's like a secret club that you only discover once you yourself have suffered loss. It's a sad thing that most women don't talk about, and yet, it's so very common. So many women have suffered the death of a child. Many of us are in the club.

That's why I decided to share my story. Standing Lost is a collection of my journal entries, my pleas to God, and my grasping for ways to somehow go on. My hope is that maybe this book will help you feel less alone, knowing that someone else has walked the road that none of us expected to travel.