It's all a transaction

"It's all a transaction" is certainly ... a metaphor ... but
somehow defining my life.
The best way ... to describe what i usually call ... nonsense.
Unfortunately ... i really had to negotiate ... again and again.
For everything ... I've wanted.
Even in love stories.
Of course ... it was stupid ... but it was also ... too late.
Much too late.
Cause ... I became tired of doing it.
Tired... because my soul just couldn't do it anymore ...
negotiating as a fool ... even for respect and loyalty.
Yeah ... you heard me well.
I was ... a fool.
Feeling ... ruined mentally and emotionally.
But ...
Yeah ... still doing it.
Not understanding the signs.
Refusing to do it.
Meanwhile ... continuing to do it ... and ...
It was all in vain.
I just couldn't get ... what I've wanted.
At least ... not now.
So ... especially in love stories ... it was mainly about failed transactions.
Feeling ... even more than tired.
I believe ... the word "intoxicated" defines everything ... the best way.
And still ... the show itself ... it still goes on.
The same negotiations ... for the bare minimum.
The same failure.
Not realising that ... all it's absurdly.
Pure absurdity.
I had to smile ... discuss ... say what i want ... and if the answer was "NO" ... just disconnect and leave.
Reading properly ... the signs ... and not allow as my soul ... to become tired of what is happening.