How We Became a Family

To build a family, first of all you need love. But how do you talk with your child about their in vitro origins? How do you tell your child they were conceived with the help of a donor?


• Adding children to a family -making a baby- takes all the same parts needed to make any baby animal.

• Knowledge of science and our bodies is a smart and beautiful thing.

• This complex story is explained in an easy and positive way that children can accept and be proud of.


This book is for couples who understand that their child's well-being comes from knowing how much they are wanted, who they are, and how they came into this world and into their family. Celebrating the story of your child's origins through the simple act of reading can reinforce your family's journey of deep bonding and open communication.


This book is version Sperm Donor - Singleton. (For parents who used the help of a sperm donor, resulting in a single child)


The How We Became a Family book series is a welcome relief for parents of children born through IVF with donor conception. These books are beautifully designed, with highly-nuanced illustrations that are a remarkable combination of depth and whimsy to be read with children ages 2-10. These books help couples talk with their kids about their donor conceived origins. 


Words from the Kirkus Review:


“For children and their parents that confront the fact that sometimes the answer to the question “Where did I come from?” isn’t that simple.


Many parents tell their children, “You grew in Mommy’s tummy,” while others tell about their adoptions. However, well-meaning parents of children who were conceived through in vitro fertilization, or with an egg or sperm donor, may stumble over technical terms as they search for words that are honest, clear and simple enough for children. This book, part of a series from Bernard Villegas and Teresa Villegas, offers a helping hand. It explains assisted reproduction in spare, restrained language that allows plenty of leeway for parents to deliver their own messages, and it also preserves the beauty and magic of a child’s birth. 


The story, told in the second person, as if a parent is speaking directly to a child, begins with two people who love each other so much they want to form a family: “They trusted each other, and they helped each other become the best person they could be.” But, when they try to make a baby, they can’t, so they see a doctor. The doctor explains that the couple has most of what they need to make a baby—particularly love and mutual respect—but they also need seeds, eggs and a nest: “Your mother had the eggs and the nest, but your father didn’t have any seeds.” It’s an elegant explanation that most children will grasp easily, and, of course, they already know the book’s happy ending. 


The story features folk art–inspired illustrations, and although most are abstract (the parents have birdlike heads and humanlike bodies), one page has tastefully explicit anatomical drawings of a man and a woman, with the vulva, vagina, penis and scrotum labeled. As with everything else in this book, the drawings and the words are graceful and matter-of-fact.


An engaging book that will fulfill a need for parents of donor conceived children via IVF.”