I Will Find You

A hard-hitting memoir about a woman’s search to understand the man who raped her

Joanna Connors was thirty years old when she was raped at knifepoint by a stranger.

Many years later she realised she had to confront the fear that had ruled her life ever since that day. She needed, finally, to understand. So she went in search of her rapist’s story, determined to find out who he was, where he came from, what his life was like – and what leads a person to do something as destructive as what he did to her.

‘More chilling than a horror film and more thought-provoking than an HBO doc’ Cosmopolitan

‘Brutally affecting’ Guardian

‘Riveting’ Mail on Sunday

Reviews

‘Brutally affecting. Connors’ story illustrates how inextricably our lives – and those of our children – are entwined with the lives of others’ Guardian

‘(An) unflinching, riveting memoir…Spare, lucid and even funny at times, this account of learning to live with suffering is nothing short of haunting’ Mail on Sunday

‘Challenging, moving . . . Connors takes a hard look at assumptions we make about victims and perpetrators’ Sunday Times

‘Deeply humane and harrowing’ Boston Globe

‘Magnificent, necessary, unflinchingly honest’ Jon Krakauer

'Raw, compelling, deeply affecting' Polly Vernon

‘Is it possible to call the story of a violent rape and its haunting aftermath a thing of beauty? This lucid, powerful memoir becomes its own form of redemption, as a seasoned reporter turns her gaze on her own life and that of her rapist's. A profoundly moving, important and, yes, beautiful book’ Dani Shapiro, author of STILL WRITING

‘The most important book on rape since Susan Brownmiller's AGAINST OUR WILL. Honest and strong, riveting and terrifying, heartbreaking and utterly unsentimental. This book will change lives and minds’ Mary Doria Russell, author of THE SPARROW

‘A hard-to-read book that is impossible to put down. I am in awe of Connors's courage and inspiring compassion. A testament to the power of forgiveness and a hard-earned grace’ Thrity Umrigar, author of THE SPACE BETWEEN US

‘A sobering, masterful, and meticulously researched exploration of the crime but with a twist: Connors plumbs the depths of her attacker and the culture of violence that made him a rapist. Understanding radiates from every page in prose that is crisp and full of unexpected notes of grace’ Beth Macy, New York Times bestselling author of FACTORY MAN

About the author

Joanna Connors is an award-winning journalist whose work has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, Glamour, and Redbook, amongst others. Her journalism awards include the 2008 Medill Medal for Courage in Journalism from Northwestern University, and Columbia University’s Dart Award for Excellence in Coverage of Trauma for her series of pieces in the Cleveland Plain-Dealer about her rape and eventual decision to track down the man who did it.