Smother

You won't like me.
I am not the nice girl. I am not your friend. 
I don't care about you, but most of all, I don't care about me.
Go ahead, hate me.
We all have secrets.
I have them as well—dark, terrible secrets. 
The only time I can breathe is when I forget. 
I need to be numb. You don't want to know how. 
But as long as I can breathe, the past cannot smother me.