Oregonian Nights

Having a magic carpet isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, especially if you’re overweight. Marty Janko, a bartender, is a fat slob, and he is a proud SNOB: Supporter of Native Oregon Beer.

To solve a concavity problem caused by his weight, Marty does a little woodworking on a sheet of plywood and dubs it the Fredboard, after Fred Eckhardt, the godfather of craft beer in Portland, a.k.a. Beervana. With the magic carpet tied to the Fredboard with a ratchet tie-down, Marty is able to lie down on the carpet and go out for “flyabouts” at night with a hydration pack (filled with beer) on his back.

Flying no faster than 35mph because he is afraid of crashing into geese, Marty stays below 1,500 feet to avoid being detected by satellite radar. While flying back home one night, Marty falls asleep … and is awakened off the coast by F-15 Eagle fighter jets of the Oregon Air National Guard. Chased by the jets and a Coast Guard helicopter, he ends up making a crash-landing in a forest near Pacific City.

Unable to get to work, Marty gets fired, but things go from bad to worse the next day when he is violently stabbed after getting off the MAX train at Pioneer Courthouse Square. Thrown into the media spotlight, Marty is coaxed by his pregnant domestic partner, Barbara, to take advantage of his proverbial fifteen minutes of fame—and Marty comes up with some good, old-fashioned activism.

Oregonian Nights is a barrel of laughs in addition to a barrel of beer, and it has it all: action, adventure, fantasy, and romance (and activism).