Helmets Do Not Expand With Heads

Have you ever wondered what NFL players were actually thinking between plays? With so many suffering head injuries, it's a shame that helmets don't expand with heads... this would surely help them think more clearly... In this inaugural work by OJ Wolfsmasher, Mark, an NFL star, psychoanalyzes his predicament, the other players, and the particular play he is executing. Who would have thought that in the time it takes for a football play to reset, a NFL football players could delve into existential self-reflection and analysis of the universal situation? It is not so hard to imagine if the player involved thinks he's the center of the universe.