Jonathan Harker, a young London solicitor travels to Transylvania to help a rich nobleman, Count Dracula, purchase an estate in England. Dracula is planning to immigrate to England, and wants Harker to help him hammer out all the legal details. Harker is at first impressed by Dracula's suave politeness, but is soon creeped out by the Count's uncanny ability to communicate with wolves and by the lack of servants—or anyone else—in the Count's huge castle. Soon after, Harker realizes that he's a prisoner in the castle...
Sassy Count Dragula seeks to unseat the scheming Babebraham Van High Heelsing, who stole her VAMPageant crown, in a sadly unfunny mix of drag ball culture and classic horror. The saucy yet unreliable narrator of this campy novella interjects modern anachronisms, such as Jurassic Park and YouTube, into a story set in 19th-century Romania. Jonathan Harker leaves England and his fianc e, Mina, to visit the centuries-old Count Dragula, planning to restore her crumbling castle. Hopelessly naive, he is confused when the three Daughters of the House of Dragula Fangela, Edwina Sullen, and Lilith Paltrow try to give him a makeover. Dragula, intrigued by Mina's cousin Lukie Westenra and his high cheekbones, hypnotizes him with a cape fetish and transforms him into Lucy Wonderbra. This is all part of Mother Dragula's plan to annihilate Van High Heelsing at the upcoming pageant. While outrageousness, puns, wigs, and padded arses abound, the anachronisms are poorly integrated into the setting, and the jokes feel strained. This slender book may offer a few chuckles to fans of drag and Dracula, but most will sashay away.