The Book of Bible Horrors

That’s in the Bible?!?!?!
Mass murders, demonic possession, deadly plagues, human sacrifices, UAPs, homicidal angels, torture, natural catastrophes – they’re all there in the pages of the best-selling book in history, The Holy Bible. Few people have ever turned to scripture to read about such themes, however. Most consult what is called the Word of God for comfort and encouragement rather than nightmarish scenarios.
That may no longer be the case today, though. Interest in monotheistic religions seems to be on the wane, which means the time may have come for a different approach to Bible-reading. Rather than citing inspired passages to attract younger generations, maybe the darker texts can draw a new wave of devotees.
That’s the purpose of this book, anyway. It is not intended to be disrespectful, although many will undoubtedly take it that way. The Book of Bible Horrors is aimed at those who enjoy a good, scary story; a thoughtful, timely, albeit spine-chilling essay; and even some satirical laughs – with a controversial dose of religious faith thrown in.
I’ve made a thorough effort to preserve the basic content of every scriptural episode cited here, but I have taken considerable liberties, as well. Every chapter, both long and short, contains embellishments, flights of imagination that easily could have been part of the actual story. Or they reveal fundamental human nature. For example, in one episode I compare the prehistoric Tower of Babel story to the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI). Both are profound examples of our species’ need to believe we are not alone in the universe.
I challenge any reader to prove that my expanded narratives could not have happened, or that they misappropriate scriptural teachings.
The Bible glosses over many critical incidents and human trials. The chief targets of injustice and cruelty – women – are rarely named, and when they are, it is only in relationship to men who, in these accounts, are almost always the dominant characters. TBOBH gives women a voice for the first time. Victims of gang rape, sacrifice by fire and sword, and divine punishment for the most minor of infractions have been silenced for too long. The case has been made that the Bible is basically misogynistic. The above factors may bear that out.
As an ordained clergyman, I’ve studied the Bible for over forty years, preached on it and led countless study groups. In addition to a Master of Divinity, I also earned a Master of Philosophy in English Literature, qualifying me to teach college-level writing as well as literary classics. In addition to being a book of inspiration, wisdom, philosophy, history and law, the Bible is also a book of poetry and legend – literature, in other words.
In the latter category, there are some gaps crying out to be filled. Many come to fruition right here. If you’re looking for thought-provoking, entertaining and occasionally funny Bible-based stories, most of which should probably not be read right before bedtime, you’ve come to the right place.
That said, welcome to THE BOOK OF BIBLE HORRORS!