Once Upon an Apple Martini

"Hilarious." 

-Manhattan Book Review 



"It's not where the perpetually tipsy (or drunk) heroine ends up, but her journey that's the most astute--and most facetious--aspect of this tale." 

-Kirkus Review 



"A thousand one-liners that were able to get me to giggle now and then." 

- San Francisco Book Review 



In this humorous debut novel, Taylor explores family, friendships, adulthood, and the theory of rock bottom. Is life just like gambling or can everything be calculated?



There's nothing like a strong drink after a day of hard work. Calyssa is at her favorite bar in New York, drinking, because things aren't going swimmingly for her. After landing a remunerative job at Shred Unread as a secretary, Calyssa was able to afford a one-bedroom apartment, and even purchased her first couch to prove to her mom she's now an adult. If life is anything like gambling, this job is the equivalent of a royal flush.



However, there's Babette, a unibrow secretary with bad breath who wants Calyssa fired. For whatever reason, Babette's boss, Mr. Grunt--the founder and CEO of Shred Unread--wants to see Calyssa first thing Monday morning, three days from now. To get her fired, for sure. Calyssa can't afford to be fired. What would her mom think? True, Amelia is dead, but still. Calyssa has always wondered whether Amelia is in hell or in heaven, and most importantly, whether there's any alcohol. Calyssa must keep her job. Whatever it takes.



The only person who can protect Calyssa is her boss Adam, who's vacationing in Hawaii. But, what if Adam declines to speak up for her? To be safe, Calyssa decides to blackmail him, a task for which she'll go to Hawaii, find him and get him drunk, and take some provocative photos of him naked--an idea empowered by the delicious apple martinis. This is how Calyssa ends up in Honolulu with a stolen fish, a black cat, a liar, a stripper, and a gambler--searching for Adam--to only learn that Hawaii is indeed a land of creation, but also a land of destruction.



Editorial Reviews

Review

"The most intriguing facet is Calyssa herself, a generally unlikable protagonist who manages to garner sympathy, albeit slowly. . . . But even if the martini lover doesn't recognize her own flaws, she listens when someone points them out. . . . It's not where the perpetually tipsy (or drunk) heroine ends up, but her journey that's the most astute--and most facetious--aspect of this tale."

-Kirkus Review 



"The characters were vivid and interesting, if also about as wild as a frat house. But they were honest, and the main character (Calyssa) painted them with affection. Calyssa herself was funny, had a train of thought more tangled than a Gordian knot, and a thousand one-liners that were able to get me to giggle now and then."

-San Francisco Book Review 



"Once Upon an Apple Martini is an entertaining combination of Bridget Jones' Diary, Sex in the City, and The Hangover all rolled into one. The characters each have their own back story that is blended seamlessly into the story and touch on issues that people (men and women) experience in their professional and personal lives. Once Upon an Apple Martini is for the modern woman, and Taylor has written a book that is serious, heartfelt, hilarious, and not afraid to tell it like it is. A great book for anyone looking to escape or laugh at real life."

-Manhattan Book Review



"This story is actually rather amusing, and in the end everyone does, in fact, learn to be better. The reader is left with the overall message of 'you're always making choices, now start taking responsibility for them.'"

-Portland Book Review 



About the Author

Kendal Taylor immigrated from Siberia in 2007 at the age of 19. Kendal's solemn dream was to become a writer. "Ever since I learned how to type and cuss, the process of writing never stopped." Once Upon an Apple Martini is a debut novel.



Kendal lives in New York City

KendalTaylor.com