The Comic Dictionary

Here are a few examples:

Alien: a little, green man who needs to acquire a little, green card
Anchor: a weighty object that holds down a ship or ambitious news team
Catharsis: the uplifting realization you were wrong
Crazy: your alleged condition when your own thoughts make more sense to you than what everybody else is saying
Detective: a Peeping Tom, Dick, or Dirty Harry
Figure: a number or body shape that is judged by its volume
Geometry: a boring complexity of proofs that teach us how to misspell “pie”
Haste: something you want to make when your jet to the Super Bowl is about to take off, you witness a crime, or when the building is about to explode
Homosexuality: thinking outside the box
Opera: tragedy sung in a foreign language, leading to boredom, death, and then the fat lady sings

And there are 990 more! Here’s you perfect Christmas or Hanukah present!