The Poisoned Princess

I want to set the record straight. 

Everything you’ve heard about my stepmother is wrong. Okay, she did have a magic mirror of sorts, but that is about the only truth in the tale you’ve heard. For a start, she wasn’t my stepmother, she was my mother. The victors write the history, or at least the ones with the pen do. My mother gets a bad rap because she stood up to some powerful people and those people were the ones who got to dictate the ‘truth.’

The story you’ve heard, or read, tells of a woman twisted by vanity who couldn’t stand that her stepdaughter was more beautiful than she was. Such utter crap. Only a man could write something so asinine. I’m pretty sure that men purposely pit women against women so that we can never unite because every man knows if women could come together, they wouldn’t stand a chance against us…but I digress.

According to the ‘history’, my stepmother—mother—was so jealous of me that she commanded a huntsman to take me into the woods and kill me. Apparently, my stepmother wanted to eat my heart so she could become immortal—insert eye roll here. Of course the valiant man did not kill me—insert another eye roll here—but rather helped me to escape my evil stepmother’s clutches.

If you haven’t guessed already, I’m not exactly happy with the way things have turned out.

Let’s not forget about the multiple attempts to kill me—all blamed on my mother, of course—or the fact that a complete stranger stole my body while I was in a coma…yeah, we’ll get to that. This entire story has been nothing but propaganda. A blatant attempt by a neighbouring king to marry me off to his son, take over my homeland, and dethrone my mother.

Well, I’ve had enough. I’m writing this down to document the truth. This is truth as I experienced it…the real truth. This is the full and unabridged tale of my own life. Me, Snow White, the Poisoned Princess.