Backseat Driver

"Never discuss politics with a girlfriend's dad. If necessary, mention that you're a convicted felon and thus not eligible to vote."

Such is the tongue-in-cheek advice handed down from father to son in "Backseat Driver: Wit and Wisdom from Father to Son." Written in a decidedly deadpan fashion, Mudd's humor book is a how-to (and how-to-not) guidebook that spans the many milestones and molehills of life from late grade school to early fatherhood.

Other witticisms include:

"The caterpillar growing between your eyes will not turn into a beautiful butterfly. Pluck that beast."

"Do not wear nugget jewelry. We have no Mafia ties."

"Getting your teeth cleaned can be pretty humbling. The best-case scenario is that you follow a hillbilly."

"Be a good speller. Smart people who are lousy spellers are often mistaken for dumb people."

"Let your wife arrange the furniture. Just go hand a tennis ball in the garage and stay out of the way."

"Never assume a woman is pregnant. She may just be pregnant with pizza."

"Never, ever shake your baby. To be safe, never stir him, either."

"Backseat Driver..." is perfect not only for fathers and sons but also for anyone who likes to laugh. The 205-page book also includes short stories/anecdotes that set the mood of each of the eight sections (grade school, middle school, high school, college, real world, marriage, pregnancy, fatherhood).

Hop into Backseat Driver and enjoy the ride!

Broken into eight sections preluded by a short story/anectode from the author's life, other witticisms include: