The Mopinomicon

***** "The author hooks you with his incredible narration, personality, and wit... It starts with laughing — JOY!!" — Verified Amazon Reviewer

THE MOPINOMICON
An Enlightenment Manual for People Who Hate Enlightenment Manuals

Book One in a series — with more madness on the way.

WARNING: This book is not normal. It's a dropped lasagna made of weapons-grade spiritual intuition — and somehow, it's still the best meal you've ever had.

Forget the monk on the mountaintop. This is what happens when the universe cracks open for a depressed, divorced janitor holding a mop and blasting the Goonies soundtrack — and decides to show him everything anyway.

When Bodie Satva accidentally stumbled through the veil of reality during a routine cleaning shift, he wasn't met with gentle harps and angelic choirs. He was thrown headfirst into a cosmic clusterfuck of surreal astral pubs, chaotic interdimensional road trips, and startling truths — wisdom translated into a language only Bodie could understand. This isn't your grandma's spiritual guidebook — it's a wisdom text for the modern age, written by a guy who hopes to crack your mind open by osmosis alone, even though he's still figuring things out himself.

For readers who want their spiritual awakening served with a side of profanity — think if Douglas Adams wrote a memoir about hitting rock bottom and finding God in a stairwell.

This is the kind of book that shoves Frankenstein and Nietzsche off the shelf and takes their spot before diving back into the depths of obscurity — a deranged self-help manual with the audacity to actually make you laugh.

INSIDE, YOU'LL DISCOVER:

A Raw and Relatable Journey — a story that begins with severe depression and a failed marriage and unfolds into an unexpected, mind-bending spiritual awakening

The Universe as a Cosmic Joke — why life is the ultimate video game played on "Nightmare Mode," and enlightenment is realizing you were in on the joke all along

Unconventional Wisdom — profound truths through the lens of absurdity, from astral gnomes to arguments with your own ego in a corporate high-rise

A Guide to Your Own Insanity (and Growth) — the big questions about suffering, interconnectedness, and the afterlife, tackled with zero pretense

A Cast of Cosmic Characters — a ten-foot-tall future version of the author named Kevin, gods and ghosts chilling in an astral bar, and Pogo, the enlightened elephant who steers a pirate ship through the cosmos

Written with a profane, fourth-wall-breaking style, The Mopinomicon is a chaotic, heartwarming, laugh-out-loud exploration of what it means to be human in a universe far weirder — and more wonderful — than you can imagine.

Not for the easily offended. Perfect for everyone else — those who never fit in, those who always felt there was more to life, those who want to know the secrets of the universe, those with a passing interest in janitorial work, and everyone in between.

***** "It's like a modern day Fear and Loathing... take a ride, lose your mind, find it again — oh no, it was just spaghetti! 10/10 wonderful read." — Verified Amazon Reviewer

If you're tired of sanitized spiritual advice and ready for a guide that feels like a conversation with a hilarious, enlightened friend...

Grab your mop. Scroll up. Get your copy.