How Not to Die at Secondary School

How Not to Die at Secondary School: A Survival Guide (Sort Of)
So you’re starting secondary school. Congratulations. You’ve entered five years of awkward crushes, terrifying toilets, aggressive assemblies, chaotic group projects, mysterious rumours and at least one PE lesson that will live in your memory forever for all the wrong reasons.
Written by a former secondary school teacher and SENCO who has truly seen it all, How Not to Die at Secondary School is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud guide nobody officially gives you — but everybody desperately needs. From surviving your first day as the smallest human in the building, to navigating detentions, exams, prom pressure and the emotional chaos of Year 11, this book tells it exactly how it is.
Inside you’ll discover how to survive PE without faking your own death, why the middle toilet cubicle should never be trusted, how rumours are born and destroy lives within a lunch break, why group projects always end in betrayal, and how you somehow emerge from it all still standing.
This is not a serious guide.
This is not educational.
This is emotional damage with jokes.
Perfect for students, parents, teachers and anyone who ever sat on a hard assembly hall floor questioning every life choice they’ve ever made.
You won’t just survive secondary school.
You’ll laugh your way through it.