The Rules(TM) for Marriage

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY 21 MAY 2001

For faithful followers of the The Rules, the authors of that wildly popular dating manual now provide a lifelong "maintenance" plan that is, more rules on how to hang onto husbands once they've been nabbed. Rule 36 ("It's easier to stay married than to get married") sums up their strategy. But many women will wonder about the payoff in marriage as depicted here, which for women involves being someone else's cheerleader for life, expecting neither sympathy nor applause for doing the chores and not forcing one's husband to talk, on the premise that men are from Mars. Even common-sense advice such as keep up your own interests and give him time alone when he comes home sounds callow in Fein and Schneider's hands. At least they don't pretend there's anything new in these "time-tested" rules. Other familiar fare includes scheduling a date night and reminders not to nag or to try to be a superwoman. Some of the original rules, like the one about having "long hair," are included. Others may be unpleasant for some readers: do things you don't want to do, like go to football games or see his family. The rules are clear on the subject of fidelity: the marriage is over if the husband cheats even once. Perhaps because of the disclosure of coauthor Fein's recent divorce, the book also covers the dos and don'ts of divorce have dignity and date ASAP and second marriages.