What to Say to Get Your Way

A guidebook of simple conversational swaps that reveals how to have more productive conversations.

Have you ever heard that sticks and stones will break your bones "but words will never hurt you"? Whoever coined that phrase didn't get it right. Words do hurt, and words matter. The words you choose can cause misunderstandings, destroy deals, and break up marriages.


Take one simple example: someone says, "You're wrong." Immediately you feel on the defensive and are much more likely to respond aggressively. But suppose that instead the other party had said, "I'd argue that . . ." or "I'd make the case that . . ." Either one of these simple substitutions all but guarantees a much more reasoned response.

What to Say to Get Your Way is filled with simple tricks and specific examples of communications that are kinder and gentler, and much more effective, than the first thing that might come out of your mouth. It is a tool for helping you get your point across in a way that can be heard—and even appreciated.