Why love itself is so illogical

So ... why the hell love itself is so, so illogical?!
Why we feel ... that we fly ... but also that it makes us
insane?!
Why so many absurd situations?!
Why ... even if we strongly believe into the beginning that it's going to be a fairy tale ... it ends up as a nightmare?!
A real hell.
I've experienced that.
I felt ... enslaved.
Really enslaved.
But ...
And ... even worse than this ... cause i felt ... no way out of it.
Being ... maybe unlucky.
Or just stupid.
Meanwhile ... i still daily analyse and define in micro details ... my relationship with this damn Carla ... illusory hoping that she will change.
But ...
Aha ... that change will never really come.
So ... short story ... suffering of this childish stupid disease called optimism ... i am still near her ... and wait.
As a fool.
But always using her as a muse for my books ... trying to do all my best to find a magic formula ... for a beautiful dynamic of love relationships.
Analysing.
Defining
But ... not really redefining anything at all.
At least into my case.
Feeling incapable.