The dark side of love relationships

I've started to write as a form of self therapy ... trying to
heal my broken soul ... while in love.
And even if nothing magical happened ... i was just revealing
... in fact ... the beginning of the weird dynamic of a life ... which i didn't know so much about.
Feeling i am lost.
And actually ... totally losing the control on myself.
Sometimes also becoming ... insane. For real.
Of course ... i am ashamed to admit it ... and ... But ... all continued.
Still continues.
And probably will still continue.
So ... I understand all ... i accept insanity as a secondary effect of the decision of starting the love relationship ... but there is nothing more to do ... than writing.
Hoping ... others will understand my illusory drama and try
to be wise.
Or at least not stupid as i was ... so often.
Near so many ladies.
Accepting the dark side of feminine energies as normality.
Being nothing than ... an idiot. An idiot ... in love.