Virgin Who Can't Drive

Is masturbation still taboo? Idk who cares, I'm horny af. I'm standing in line at McDonald's and getting hard off dudes wearing off-brand construction work boots from Kmart (I have a good, poor person eye), who look like fucking Jeremy Renner. It's getting pretty intense out here.

I started playing Chopsticks with my c**t (NOPE!!) when I was around...seventeen or eighteen. I don't remember if I ever considered masturbation before, though I would get ~tingly feelings~ a lot when I was younger. It's so crazy for me to think back like, And you did--You just did nothing about it?! Now I jerk off to episodes of Seinfeld, like I don't even care anymore.