Cold Sweat (Unabridged‪)‬

Fleeing college pressure, Jules heads home to rest, recharge, and figure out a plan before fall break ends. Eager to spend time with her mother and stepfather, there's one presence she's less thrilled about seeing: Red.

The sentient, smirking pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist Punch was a huge pain in the glass. He'd been getting under her skin for two years now, ever since their parents' wedding day. Red's taste in entertainment and weirdly suggestive commentary were driving her crazy, a destination she was capable of finding all on her own.

With big life decisions looming, his antics shake up Jules' already fragile peace, steering her towards a leisurely evening in her mom's new sauna. It seems like the perfect remedy for stress... until Red invites himself along. Close, steamy confines have a way of outing secrets, and Red has a huge one he can't keep on ice any longer.

Will Jules be able to resist her thirst for the unknown, or will the truth about her stepbrother refresh her perspective entirely?

Cold Sweat is a parody sentient object romance novella between a human woman and a large glass pitcher of Cherry Chill-Assist drink mix. No, that's not a metaphor. It's made of glass. Yes, I am referring to exactly what you think I am. Yes, this was written by the same woman who wrote the door one. And the balloons. And the boat. At this point, you know what you're getting into, friends.

Narrated in duet style.