May Contain Nuts

There is something wrong with Johnny Truant. In this collection of essays, Johnny proves again and again that he's unfit for normal society. In these pages, he battles a roommate who blow-dries his genitals, wards of a turkey invasion, and ponders the familial status of his cat, Wesley Snipes. He proves that elections are won or lost based on how embarrassing the media photographs are, and worries about the well-being of a troubled holiday favorite - Constipated Santa. So don't expect "normal" as you read this book. Expect giant pumpkins, surly birds, offended squirrels, and interviews with barbecued beef. And ice cream cones with hot dogs in the center. Johnny Truant has a way of finding everything hilarious, and keeping it hilarious as it reaches the written page. So start reading, and enjoy. But don't blame Johnny if you can't stop seeing the world through his cracked lens.