Ugly Love
A Survivor’s Story of Narcissistic Abuse
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- 49,00 kr
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- 49,00 kr
Utgivarens beskrivning
Have you ever felt like a normal discussion
turns into him raging at you, while you cower in
the corner, not certain what just happened
to set him off? Have you felt like you would be
punished if you stand up for yourself? Have you ever
been told you are imagining things and
everyone thinks you're crazy? Have you
been told no one else could ever love you?
Have you been led to believe this is all
your fault?
If you feel like you are living this fairy tale
turned nightmare, then you may be a victim of
narcissistic abuse.
Abusive relationships with a narcissist
follow a specific pattern. There's the
initial stage of love bombing, where he's
prince charming and you are his princess
and soulmate. Then, the debasement
starts. The rules start changing. Just when
you think you know what he wants, the
standards change again. Then he isolates
you. You aren't allowed to see family and
friends. If you do, you are punished with
silence or rancid accusations. Then,
there's the escalation of discussions into
shouting matches, only for him to apologize and start
the cycle all over again.
If you feel hopeless, don't. There is a way
out, and your exit plan begins with understanding what
you are going through and how you ended
up there.
Laura Charanza is a survivor of forty
years of narcissistic abuse. Laura has
worked with psychologists, physicians,
life coaches and spiritual healers to
understand narcissism and a narcissist's
victims. With empathy and transparency, l
Laura tells, first hand, the story of a typical and toxic
relationship with a narcissist. But
understand that there is
a way out, and here is where your journey
to freedom, peace and true love can begin
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Former TV news anchor Charanza draws on her history of abusive relationships in this choppy debut that blends memoir and self-help. Interspersing shocking scenes of emotional and verbal abuse by both her mother and ex-husband, Charanza unpacks the nature and signs of narcissistic personality disorder using advice from experts such as psychologist Scott A. Bonn, whose research on diagnosing and the prevalence of narcissistic and sociopathic disorders she lays out. She lists the disorder's diagnostic criteria: unhealthy self-importance, entitlement, and lack of empathy, among other traits. She also succinctly explains the cycle of abuse and the tactics of the narcissist, such as gaslighting, moving targets or "gamechanging" (praising and condemning the same actions), and wearing down one's self-worth through attrition. Addressing readers who might be in a relationship with a narcissist, Charanza unpacks unhealthy coping mechanisms of victims, including eating disorders (which she struggled with) and addiction, before laying out concrete, direct advice on how to separate from an abuser. She closes with encouragement and strategies for healing, focusing on cognitive therapy and clinical techniques such as eye-movement desensitization, a stress-reducing therapy. Charanza's flow between personal examples and summaries of experts is not always smooth, but her summing up of complex research is accessible and her personal story conveys the urgency of escaping abuse. Victims of narcissistic abuse or those hoping to help a loved one in such a situation will find this immensely helpful. (BookLife)
