The Tangle of Meanings

Great Dams Inside

Someone built great dams in my mind,
Thoughts built up and flooded back into
All the tributaries and open spaces inside

In the alcoholic ward the doctors and
Nurses treated my disease
Opened blockages, worked on my

Years in the making, settled in
Raise the dams slowly, loosened up
Rivers of thought and poetry

Art and words breaking like winter
Ice on a frozen river, the spring thaw
Is on and this is what I see

Flowing out of me, knowing now
Drugs cloud and silt and flood the mind
And God set me free

Knowing I’m Not the Only One

We were playing with her little dog outside who took my

Treats at a distance, nervous and fearful of me

“It takes a long time for her to warm up and trust anyone”

I laughed “I’m like that too”

She whispered “Me too”

And we looked at each other and smiled at this big truth shared,

Over such a little thing

Feeling a little less out of place in the world

Sometimes so strange in my own skin trying to understand

Why I am the way I am, often not meeting my own expectations

About how I should be

It helps knowing I’m not the only one

Someone Cut a Hole in My Head
Someone cut a hole in my head
Took out my self-confidence
My faith that I am worthy of love and self-respect
I do not know how to get it back
That big hole inside my head
Perhaps this is my lot in life
Just when I thought I was getting well

II
it comes and goes
waxes and wanes
tidal shift high and low and in between
never steady and exact

so who allowed the low tide to fool me again?
the ocean is on its way back
there are holes in my head
Patience
self-confidence is coming back