Mommy Boobs

No one ever told us that baby-led weaning was a lie. 

We always vowed that we'd never be that family. The one with the five-year-old child suckling at the mom's boobs out in public. But, with two years to go, our little monster has vowed that she'll never give them up.

It's time for Daddy to take drastic measures, or Mommy may never let me near those breasts again.

Her face lit up with naked glee.

Nothing, I mean nothing in this world registered as much joy for our little girl as that initial moment of beholding the mommy boob. And not just gleeful, either. I’m talking lecherous, naked glee. She’d grin at it. Fondle it. Talk to it. Flirt with it. And then jump on it like a hot-blooded man who’d been stranded all alone for several years on a desert island.

Every time was the first time for our little girl.

This book is a humorous work of fiction—don't let my wife's allegations mislead you into believing that this is an autobiographical work. It's not...although it may be loosely inspired by real-life events.

"Extremely funny, deadpan and ridiculous, yet also real and dark enough to be painful at the same time. Highly recommended just for a laugh or as much needed therapy for parents with small children."—Oliver Franks, Author of MAN OF RUIN