The French Love Pastry and Her Tale in the Sand

Once upon a time, on the north coast of France, a callipygian chambermaid set her sights on a rich American with a fetish. It’s the spring of 1903, and the coy Nicole—intoxicated by a combination of youthful infatuation and ageless avarice—puts all her most promising parts to work. But it’s not by her comely tail she’ll win this learned lad’s heart, for his obsession runs deeper—or, at least, further down….

Reminiscent of the tales comprising The Decameron, this singular story recounts yet another skirmish in the age-old battle of the sexes, and then betters Boccaccio by adding a pair of instructive morals, à la: If you lead him by the nose, be sure to check the porridge for parts.

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