Loving Violet

“Even before you were born, we belonged to each other, Vi,” I reminded her, trying to fight the desperation to grab on to her and hold her, because I could feel her slipping away from me more and more with each beat of my heart. “You were in your mom’s belly, but I still felt you in my heart. It was as if there was this invisible cord connecting your heart to mine. I can’t see it, but I feel it. Every damn day. You are mine.”


“You’re right. I’ve always felt it too. I am yours. And you were supposed to be mine. We were supposed to be each other’s firsts, Luca. First kiss. First touch. First everything. We promised we would be each other’s firsts. ‘Firsts and lasts,’ that’s what you said. I remember it as clear as if it were yesterday. You swore that you would wait. That I was worth it. But you didn’t wait, did you, Luca? You gave all your firsts away to someone else.”


“I…” My throat closed up, making it impossible to speak, to tell her everything I needed to so I could fix this. Fix us and what I broke.


“You stole that from me, Luca.” Angry tears spilled from her eyes, and my heart shattered even more. “You gave away everything that was supposed to be mine. And you just expect me to be okay with that? I’ve waited my entire life to give you my firsts, but you have none to give to me.”


“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice choked with emotions I was afraid to lose control of. If I let the tears free that were burning my eyes, I might flood the world.


“Sorry? You’re sorry?” Her laugh was hard and final, causing me to flinch. “Yeah. So am I.”


“What does that mean?” My throat felt like I’d swallowed broken glass, and I was surprised I didn’t spray blood on her with each exhale.


“It means I’m done. You tossed away your firsts like they meant nothing. So mine are no longer yours.”


***If easily triggered, this book is not for you!***