A Trillion-Dollar Rock (Unabridged‪)‬

When the dumbest woman on the planet sets her eyes on the nearest asteroid, she ignores all logical problems and tries to claim it for herself. But will she manage to launch a rocket that far and claim the mining rights, when a rocket seems to cost quite a bit of money, when the Brainiacs at NASA say it cannot be done, and when stupid issues like physics and rocket science try to get in her way?