A Wild Knight of Flowers: Perv or Paladin, Book 1 (Unabridged‪)‬

Today is the day that I, Luciano Fjorborn, First Paladin of Berella, go out into Yurnip County to push back the forces of darkness with a few vigorous thrusts of my mighty lance!

Who’s Berella? Why, she’s the goddess of love, tenderness, and hot rumpy-pumpy, of course! As her loyal servant, it is my mission to go out of my cloister and show the world Berella’s divine love. Repeatedly. And in multiple positions!

But it’s a cruel world out there, especially for a Paladin who doesn’t believe in violence (...unless it’s consensual and proper headgear is involved). So, I’m going to need as many hands on deck to ensure we can get the job done properly!

No, wait, I said, "Deck. Deck!"

Come on, don’t call me a perv! I’m a holy warrior from a totally legit religion! Just give me a chance to show you Berella’s glory!

No! Not like that! Officer, wait, let me explain!

Your Diplomacy skill has failed! Next time, try opening with a compliment on her hair, you weirdo.

Content warning: Profanity? Check. Intimate relationships with scenes hot enough to cook a turkey? Check. Good and bad jokes? Check, please! Finally, an ecumenical sexy comedy that’ll be fun, unless you’re an old fogy.