A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller!
Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.
We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?
For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?
With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.
In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:
Use "magic words" for healthy conflict resolutionAddress unspoken and unrealistic expectationsBanish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delayCarry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs
Penn and Kim want you to know you're not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
Social-media stars Kim and Penn Holderness get that they’re not the first people you think of when it comes to relationship advice—after all, they’re best known for that viral video about Christmas pajamas that get passed around every December. But they’re also a married couple who run a business together, so they know what it’s like to fight with your spouse. Written with the help of their marriage counselor, Everybody Fights is a lighthearted but useful guide to communicating with your partner. They’re 100% honest about their flaws and willing to reveal what they fight about. (So despite their family-friendly videos, maybe don’t play this while you’re taking the kids to school.) The fun parts of the audiobook come when they go off-script, interrupting their reading to chat and crack jokes, which happens constantly. Even if your relationship is pretty solid, these tips on how to keep everyday annoyances from boiling over into actual spats will help things stay that way.
A refresh we didn't know we needed
So a few weeks ago, my wife and I refreshed our basement. Nothing fancy, I'm far from a handyman, but we changed the paint color, rearranged the furniture and organized the clutter. Those simple things transformed the space from somewhere we would bring our boys when we were tired of them destroying our living room to a place where we actually WANTED to spend our time.
I feel like this book was the equivalent of that for our marriage. There was nothing significantly wrong with our marriage, but a few simple tweaks and tips to make us more aware of our communication and relationship has us excited to be married again! Kim and Penn are funny and relatable and not at all preachy, offering advice and tips from their own experiences.
Your marriage does not need to be rocky or in trouble to find this book useful and engaging. You may not even realize what a little refresh will do!
I searched for your audio version twice before I finally figured out how to purchase it. I am so happy I did. This book had me laughing, crying, feeling validated and also making me realize my mistakes. Thank you for sharing this vulnerable perspective of not only your marriage but each of you personally. I hope this book reaches more couples.