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Publisher Description

Vampyres don't exist. They absolutely do not exist. At least I didn't think they did 'til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead? Now I'm a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren't bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite, and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I'm stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who's teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator. To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions, and my attraction to a hotter-than-Satan's-underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous...it's possibly deadly. For real dead.

Permanent death isn't on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I'm his, it's easier said than done. Like that's not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I'm some sort of Chosen One. Holy hell, if I'm in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.

Jessica Almasy
hr min
February 9
Audible Studios

Customer Reviews

glhince ,

readf this title rather than a listen

AudioBook Review:
Stars: Overall 3 Narration 2 Story 3

I’m always up for something new that is a bit different from my norm, and Fashionably Dead intrigued me with the blurb, which did remind me of a long-time favorite series from Mary Janice Davidson.

I’m sure that the similarities are coincidental, and there is a decided slimness of character and development in Astrid – there were times when she tried too hard to be edgy, and others when the language (it’s pretty foul) and the scenes (they get graphic) are just taking over in lieu of getting to know her.

It can’t be easy to discover one is a vampire, and the danger posed as well as the new friends acquired along the way all keep the plot light and moving forward, but the world-building, the character engagement and the actual reason for reading the next were lost to me… I wanted to like this far more than I did, as I kept finding myself comparing moments and approach to the story, and finding it lacking.

Narration for this story was provided by Jessica Almasy, my first title from this narrator. It is, unfortunately, a mixed reaction: limited distinction between character voices, even subtle pitch and delivery changes were sporadic if appearing at all. Her voice, while pleasant, is young – in fact each chapter notation (chapter one, chapter two, etc.) was presented with this breathy, near caricature-level voice that instantly put me in the mind of kids trying to sound intriguing or sexy. Highly off-putting. She does, fortunately, lose this affectation in the actual presentation of the story, but I was frustrated by the lack of emotional overlay, variation and involvement with the words being presented.

In short – I’d suggest a read of this title rather than a listen, and for me, I’m sticking with Mary Janice Davidson’s Undead (Queen Betsy) series – I enjoyed it more.

I received an AudioBook copy of the title from Audible Customer Relations for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.

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