How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen (Unabridged)
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4.1 • 215 Ratings
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain
“More than a guide to better conversations, it’s a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and broaden their perspectives.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes (Summer Reading Pick)
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”
And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?
Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.
The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
Written to meet a historical moment in which social media seems to be stoking divisions—and just talking to each other is becoming unreasonably difficult— David Brooks’ fascinating guide offers a road map for human connection. For the New York Times columnist, getting to know each other deeply is one of life’s most crucial and rewarding tasks. He walks us through the steps involved in making it happen, drawing on medical and psychological research, history, and cultural studies. Brooks also takes a long look inward, sharing relatable stories from his own past and highlighting the ways ego, anxiety, and other factors can get in the way of connecting with other people. While his book is unfailingly practical, Brooks is such a skillful writer and deep thinker that his prose sometimes feels philosophical. His warm, friendly narration further underlines the heart-and-soul motivation behind it all. Whether you want to form new relationships or deepen existing ones, this is an excellent starting point.
Customer Reviews
A gift in turbulent times
This is a great book. For some of us who have followed David for a while, this is a testament of how much he has learned over the years. From conservative to moderate, he is someone who truly listens, who encourages the reader to be curious and develop skills such as empathy and compassion that are almost extinct in our society. This is a great resource for someone who truly wants to understand the why behind the results of the 2024 election. Thank you for this fantastic gift David!
Some people are critiquing the fact that he is citing other people’s work. Darn if you do darn if you don’t. Listen/read carefully, the way the describes his process of getting to know someone is different from others. I’m glad he is citing other people’s work, it’s also a good resource to read more about the same topic. Enjoy!
Thank you Mr. Brooks
David Brooks is one of the greatest thinkers of our time. He should advise every CEO and President.
Doesn’t anybody have original thoughts anymore?
So disappointed in this book I wish I could get a refund. David Brooks spent chapter after chapter quoting other people‘s work very little original thought.