How to Live Like a Supervillain (Unabridged‪)‬

Disclaimer: This is a humorous piece of writing intended for a mature audience over 18. All characters are over 18. This is possibly helpful advice from Poison, a knife wielding super strong supervillain in the world of "The Crisis" and "Crisis on Just One Earth" It is advice about how to live like a supervillain even if you don't have any powers and don't want to go to jail. It's all about attitude.

Excerpts:

On high school:


Don't get arrested. Super villains don't get caught.
Break the rules. A life without detention isn't worth living.



On dating:


Anyone can sleep with a sorority girl. They're looking to get laid. Figure out how to get a smart girl in bed. That's a challenge. And she might teach you something.
Women in airports will usually say yes.



On supervillainy:


If you and your friend take two strange girls back to a hotel room, one of you has to be awake at all times. Sleep in shifts. You never know who's going to try and kill you.
If your wife is a telekinetic and telepath who can crush your balls with a wave of her hand, you may want to reconsider lying to her as an option.
Capes are for people who can lift a skyscraper or pretentious assholes. My best friend The Crisis wears a cape. Nobody's perfect.