• $16.99

Publisher Description

From the New York Times bestselling author and former beauty editor Cat Marnell, a “vivid, maddening, heartbreaking, very funny, chaotic” (The New York Times) memoir of prescription drug addiction and self-sabotage, set in the glamorous world of fashion magazines and downtown nightclubs.

At twenty-six, Cat Marnell was an associate beauty editor at Lucky, one of the top fashion magazines in America—and that’s all most people knew about her. But she hid a secret life. She was a prescription drug addict. She was also a “doctor shopper” who manipulated Upper East Side psychiatrists for pills, pills, and more pills; a lonely bulimic who spent hundreds of dollars a week on binge foods; a promiscuous party girl who danced barefoot on banquets; a weepy and hallucination-prone insomniac who would take anything—anything—to sleep.

This is a tale of self-loathing, self-sabotage, and yes, self-tanner. It begins at a posh New England prep school—and with a prescription for the Attention Deficit Disorder medication Ritalin. It continues to New York, where we follow Marnell’s amphetamine-fueled rise from intern to editor through the beauty departments of NYLON, Teen Vogue, Glamour, and Lucky. We see her fight between ambition and addiction and how, inevitably, her disease threatens everything she worked so hard to achieve. From the Condé Nast building to seedy nightclubs, from doctors’ offices and mental hospitals, Marnell “treads a knife edge between glamorizing her own despair and rendering it with savage honesty.…with the skill of a pulp novelist” (The New York Times Book Review) what it is like to live in the wild, chaotic, often sinister world of a young female addict who can’t say no.

Combining “all the intoxicating intrigue of a thriller and yet all the sobering pathos of a gifted writer’s true-life journey to recover her former health, happiness, ambitions, and identity” (Harper’s Bazaar), How to Murder Your Life is mesmerizing, revelatory, and necessary.

Biographies & Memoirs
Cat Marnell
hr min
January 31
Simon & Schuster Audio

Customer Reviews

JeSeBla ,


High Five to Cat! Love love loved this audiobook and the narration was totally on point. Have been looking forward to Cat's book for quite a while and am happy she hit it out of the ballpark. I'm a straight-laced mom in my mid-forties so one would think I might not be engaged by a provocative party girl memoir - but the writing here is vibrant enough that I was immediately pulled in.

ghost in the sofa ,

Worth the wait


HonestReviewer8888 ,

I’m obsessed. V good

Ugh I have so much in common with Cat. I loved this book and got excited when I thought about the next time I could listen. Interesting, relatable, raw and hilarious 🤪 if you have an insane phobia of rodents and you’re good at f.cking up your life- this book is for you! Still thinking about it even after I finished. Cat if you see this, let’s be friends, xo your soul sista

Listeners Also Bought