Lethal Dangerousness (Unabridged‪)‬

The year is 1986.

The increasing popularity of video-game consoles and home-video recorders render requests for traditional toys at an all-time low. 

With his workshop rapidly losing popularity and demand among the children of the world, Santa Claus decides to take his business in a new direction. 

International drug trafficking. 

After all, why lose money making Christmas crackers, when he can earn money making Christmas crackheads? 

With his new business plan and slave-like working conditions causing great pain and misery among his elf employees, one of the elves escapes to the big city to enlist the help of Dallas Stone, a maverick cop who only knows one way to fight crime. 

Action has a new face - and a terrible mullet.