My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

    • 4.2 • 104 Ratings
    • $12.99

    • $12.99

Publisher Description

You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.

Enter Chelsea Handler. Gorgeous, sharp, and anything but shy, Chelsea loves men and lots of them. My Horizontal Life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a Vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty. Encouraged by her motley collection of friends (aka: her partners in crime) but challenged by her family members (who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter), Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. My Horizontal Life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.

Biographies & Memoirs
Cassandra Campbell
hr min
August 25
Tantor Audio

Customer Reviews

MoreThanMachines ,

Clever. But is there a little Chuck Palahniuk Influence going on here? Maybe it's just me:

She's lewd, she's crude, (and unless you're a really deserving, minor, D-List celebrity who's hit rock bottom—a.k.a. 'Late Night TV Fodder'—or you have a TV show featuring one, then she's definitely NOT RUDE. Just a little disclaimer there for anyone expecting to read the word "rude" following the previous. You know who you are =) Well, I can't call myself a big Chelsea Handler fan because until just now, I hadn't the slightest idea she was an author. See, I didn't use the hypothetical 'were' as in, "If Chelsea Handler 'were' an author." I instead used the 'was' because apparently the girl IS an author. And obviously, a very very good one at that. If you're a fan of the perverse but powerfully imaginative world of minimalist writers like Bukowski, Hempel, and Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Survivor, Choke, et al.), then you'll find this one difficult 'not to' like! I wonder if she used a ghost writer? Because this is simply written so well. First books are rarely that impressive. Even first attempts from now household names. So, I'm quite impressed. Ms. Handler, forget Hollywood. Welcome to the world of CSPAN2 Book TV! You're an author, girlfriend! A bit of a twisted one but hey, if you've got an audience... Exactly. Congratulations!

Mama Mayhem ,

The book is funny but the narrator is horrible

I wish I had checked on who narrated this before I purchased this audiobook. I had seen that Chelsea Handler's other book was narrated by her and I thought the same would hold true for this book as well, but I was sadly mistaken. While the book itself is funny, the narrater is almost painful to listen to. The attempts at accents were cringeworthy and she does little justice to the material. I give it 3 stars because no matter how bad the narrater, Chelsea Handler is still a funny author.

blackchrome76 ,

Good but...

The book is great but why didn't she (CH) read it? The narrator is awful, just lifeless. She narrates the drinking and sex in the same way one would expect an audio Haynes manual to sound. She sucked all the fun out of the fun and might as well be describing differences in shoe tread. Having just finished "Are You There Vodka..." this was a letdown. I'd just read the book and skip the audio on this one.

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