Searching for My Heart: Essays About Love

You’re not alone.

Hollow words for any tender soul smiling through the day, while hiding a deep sense of loneliness.

For such a soul—like Dawn Downey—the friendliest encounter is an exercise in alienation. In her essay titled "A Traveler's Tale," she describes a stroll through her neighborhood.

“A dust mop of a puppy bounded toward me, her brush tail slicing the air with hello come play and a young woman on the other end of her leash. Straggling behind them was a toddler pushing an umbrella stroller. I knew they lived in the blue house on the corner … in their front yard, a stand of coreopsis whose yellow starbursts surprised me every summer.

“The little girl skipped along in my blind spot, peppering me with questions and her own answers. I fantasized a life-long friendship between us, taught her to read, gave her sage advice after a teenage spat with her boyfriend.

“I wanted to ask the young woman’s name, but they hurried past, toward their blue house on the corner, dust mop’s yap yap yap fading.”

Through the stories in Searching for My Heart, Downey investigates why she feels left out, returning to themes of alienation, shame, and the self-awareness that leads to love. Downey is a seeker, on a quest for closeness. Every step in her search is a homecoming, where she discovers connection begins with herself. An audiobook for anyone with a desire to belong.