The Book of Dog: A Satire (Unabridged‪)‬

When their peoples mysteriously vanish, a pair of faithful dogs must work with their foul-mouthed feline friend to discover why, and how to bring them back home.

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Banger and Mash knew something strange was happening when their peoples’ scent began to fade. Sweetpea the cat knew it too, but…you know…he just wasn’t that worried about it. But when their human vanishes into thin air right before their noses, they race to get help from the other dogs in the village, only to discover that EVERYONE'S humans have disappeared.

Banger, a rescue with a traumatic past, convinces the other dogs that they must have done something Very Bad to incur this terrible punishment. Determined to become Perfect Dogs to entice the humans to return to them, a draconian system of laws is put into place to keep dogs from doing anything that might be seen as Bad—no more eating trash, no more sleeping on the couch, and definitely no humping. Sweetpea is more than happy to use his prodigious feline memory to help them keep track of their ever-more-complicated rules…so long as they refer to him as His Masterfulness, and pay him homage.

Mash, on the other hand, is not so sure that they’re going about it the right way. He wants to be a Good Dog, but he’s pretty sure that the whole reason the peoples loved them in the first place was because they were…well…dogs.


As differing philosophies give rise to conflict amongst the canines, a new theory of how they should behave arises from an unlikely source: Sweetpea--AKA, His Masterfulness--who is either the only cat capable of hearing the voice of the peoples…or maybe he’s just going crazy.


Satire and metaphysics come together in this humorous and often heartwarming tale about our four-legged friends, and how love conquers all.